WASP SIDE STORY - LYRICS

 

(1) PROLOGUE (2:55). 1

(2) WASP SONG (3:12). 2

(3) COULD BE (SOMETHING’S COMING) (2:30). 4

(4) THE DANCE AT THE GYM (4:56). 5

(5) SCALIA (2:50). 7

(6) TO FIGHT (5:49). 8

(7) AMERICA (4:08). 10

(8) IT’S C(H)OOL (4:49). 11

(9) ONE GOD (4:14). 11

(10) TO FIGHT (ENSEMBLE) (3:33). 12

(11) THE RUMBLE (2:36). 14

(12) I FEEL CERTAIN (3:05). 15

(13) BE FAIR (2:49). 16

(14) GEE, JUSTICE O’CONNOR (4:25). 16

(15) A PLAN LIKE THAT (5:56). 18

(16) FINALE (2:32). 19

 

(1) PROLOGUE (2:55)

 

They had an idea. No one had ever tried it.

They had an idea.

Went against tradition

Viewed with some suspicion

On its first submission

Worth some recognition

They had an idea. No one had ever tried it.

 

They had an idea

Worship made unwilling

Blood that had been spilling

All the wanton killing

Led to their distilling

A novel idea – one based upon new thinking

They had an idea that would be changing hist’ry

 

Equality

 

They had an idea

Stop the diminution

Counter retribution. Hey, why not?

 

Such a great solution

In a Constitution. Hey, why not?

 

Freedom was in season

Risking jail for treason

Soon they saw the key’s in

Using powers of reason

 

They tried equality

They tried respect for their fellow man

 

It is wrong to have slaying, For not praying

It is wrong, it is wrong

To deny to those who try to

Stay true to their own consciences

 

Why not just have the government respect everyone’s views as equal?

 

Freedom for every conscience

Freedom as universal

Freedom for every conscience

Freedom as universal

Freedom for every conscience

Freedom as universal

 

It is wrong to be telling

And compelling

It is wrong, it is wrong – just a smidgen

In religion

 

To not be fair. To have some favored

 

Treat all as equal

Treat all as equal

 

They had an idea. No one had ever tried it.

 

 

 

(2) WASP SONG (3:12)

 

“Who needs TJ?”

“Against the Papists, we need every man we gots.”

“TJ don’t belong anymore.”

“Cut it, Sam A. Me and TJ started the WASPS.”

“Well, he acts like he don’t want to belong.”

“Hey, who wouldn’t want to belong to the WASPS?”

 

When you’re a WASP, you’re a WASP all the way

Like the nation’s first Chief Justice, yes old John Jay

When you’re a WASP you are sure of some things

Like the Pope don’t know squat about the King of Kings

 

You know that this land was settled and selected

By people who planned to have it all protected

By those elected

 

To keep the government Protestant, hey

We won’t ever let papists come get in our way

When you’re a WASP you stay a WASP

 

“Now I know “TJ” like I know me, and I guarantee you can count him in.”

“In-out, let’s get cracking.”

“Where’re you gonna find the Pope-guy?”

“At the hearing today at the Court.”

“But the Court’s not neutral territory.”

“Cool, eh? ‘May Protestant Christianity save the United States and this Honorable

Court.’ But chill, daddy-o. I’m gonna make nice to him. I’m only gonna challenge him.

So everybody dress up sweet and sharp. But just don’t wear the pointy hat, the fancy

robe ... or the red leather shoes.”

 

Oh, when the WASPS come in they are oozing class

Never see such allure at a Catholic mass

You know the Pope’s a guy you should besmirch

Don’t you dare let him near any WASP church

 

“Meet TJ and me at ten. And walk tall.”

“We always walk tall. We’re WASPS, The greatest!”

 

When you’re a WASP you’re the top cat in town

Got the goods on the guy with the made-of-thorns crown

When you’re a WASP you are brimming with hope

Cause you don’t have to deal with some outlandish Pope

 

A WASP, it is clear, is really cool and caring

You never need fear, that he will not be sharing

Although he’s daring

 

Here come the WASPs, yeah, and we’re gonna tell

How the papists are all surely going to hell

Here come the WASPs knowing what life is for

Thinking back on the joys of the thirty years war

 

We really despise the whore of Babyloney

And all of his lies. The guy is just a phony

With tortelloni

 

Here come the WASPS, yeah!, and we’re gonna beat

Any Catholic that ever dares walk down our street

Down our whole, ever, Papist-hating street!

 

 

 

(3) COULD BE (SOMETHING’S COMING) (2:30)

 

Could be, who knows

Is there a god? Who can tell

Is there heaven? Is there hell?

Who can be sure?

For every story that a mind can conceive,

One can believe that and much more. Explore.

 

What to think? So much choice

Different viewpoint, different voice

What way is right?

And yet no matter which religion is true

What we should do is never fight

 

Looking back, what we see

Is a world where tyranny

With every breath

Used religion for its power to devour

And to shower many with death

 

Everyone so assured

Thoughts of others being skewered

Had no effect

This is something we contend, we can end,

We can mend, we can correct

 

In our new nation

We’ll have the abrogation

Of toleration, you see

 

Tolerate, that’s no good

Let’s do better, as we should

Let us all seek

A new situation where all is fair

Though it’s rare and it’s unique

 

No toleration

Among our population

Equal

What to think? So much choice

Different viewpoint, different voice

No way is right

 

There may be answers but I don’t want to say

Because we may learn a lot more

 

You want truth? Don’t look here

‘Cause I tell you that I fear

Speaking offhand

Even though the claims they make sound so fake

I won’t take the slightest stand

 

I won’t make judgments or say a thing that’s caustic

Cause I’m agnostic, you see

 

Could it be just a spoof

I can’t answer without proof

Against the devout

I just will not take a side, I’ll elide

Since my pride won’t accept doubt

 

I heard some hummin.’ Perhaps it’s god that’s coming.

Could be. Who knows.

 

 

 

(4) THE DANCE AT THE GYM (4:56)

 

It’s the Supreme Court, protector, defender

It’s the Supreme Court

Majorities at times, Themselves can commit crimes, Said Hamilton

 

It’s the Supreme Court, protector, defender

It’s the Supreme Court

When justice needs a hand, The justices should stand As the barrier

 

Against legislation that can infringe on freedoms that we call basic rights.

Above all, to stand tall for equality.

 

We place within their hands, that document that stands

For Equality

 

To be certain we protect Everybody, we respect

Their beliefs about some divinity We will have no favored sect

 

All our judges will ensure That the Constitution pure

Will be on the side of equality So the nation will endure

 

Everybody’s conscience will Have a clear right to instill

In the public square what others dispute With such right no blood will spill

 

 

We’ve got a Constitution that we propose

We’ve got what is a new solution that we hope shows

That we can all be treated by government

As equals. That is the rule to which we gave our consent

 

We’ve got a Constitution we will now test

To ensure that there’s no dilution we cannot rest

 

Control Of the Governed

Control That is hard to do

Some folks don’t stay true

 

Control Of itself

Government of men Has their many flaws

Government of men Can abuse the laws

 

How to Solve this

Break up all of the power

Don’t let them share

Have Checks and plenty of balance

To have laws fair

 

Separation is key

No one branch takes control

Add some equality

 

Separation is key

No one branch takes control

 

The states, and the feds

The house, senate, too

Don’t forget presidents Are elected

Don’t forget that their jobs depend

On majorities. Majorities

 

Got to get votes

Got to get re      elected

Got to do whatever the polls say it takes

Minorities lose

Some people act just for themselves.

 

For themselves

 

For themselves. For themselves

 

And they are willing to harm other folk for their own personal gains

 

It’s the Supreme Court, protector, defender

It’s the Supreme Court

When justice needs a hand

The justices should stand

As the barrier

 

Against legislation that can infringe on freedoms that we call basic rights.

Above all, to stand tall for equality.

 

 

 

(5) SCALIA (2:50)

 

The most feudiful sound I ever heard

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia

All the feudiful sounds of the world in a single word

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia

 

Scalia – I just read a blurb by Scalia

And suddenly that name brings terror, fright and shame to me

Scalia – the gist of that blurb by Scalia

Is that people like me can never share in liberty

Scalia, say it loud and his God is nearing

Say it soft and it’s still not endearing

Scalia, I’ll never stop fearing Scalia

 

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia

Say it loud and his God is nearing

Say it soft and it’s still not endearing

Scalia, I’ll never stop fearing Scalia

The most feudiful sound I ever heard: Scalia.

 

 

 

(6) TO FIGHT (5:49)

 

F: What you do, is just look at history, forever

F: In their hands, in their words, and in everything they’ve done

F: Pope and priest and nun, ever

 

M: And they all knew that theirs was the best way

M: They built all their affairs in the best way

 

F: That’s religion

 

M: Deemed as true, every thought they’d ever know

M:They’d insist was so, you see

 

F: They all built their world in

M & F: Tyranny

 

F: To fight, to fight, they used their gods to fight

F: Preparing for the battles each day

F: To fight, to fight. They used their gods to fight

F: Making sure others saw it their way

F: If they one day had some strange feeling

F: A miracle they’d call it

F: Explaining each strange sight

F: They’d travel far

F: And place upon the landscape a scar

F: To fight

 

M&F: To fight, to fight

M&F: Our God says that we’re right

M&F: And so we go all over the place

 

M&F: To fight, to fight

M&F: We surely have the might

M&F: To be there at the helm of our race

 

M&F: We know we’re on a holy mission

M&F: We’re doing what God’s asking

M&F: Because we see the light

 

M&F: We are so strong, and so we can’t be wrong

M&F: No we’re right to fight

 

M: To fight. To fight

M: Though some think that’s not bright

M: Old habits are not easy to break

 

F: I cannot slay. At least, not quickly

M: Try out your maid

F: She’s is an infidel

M: I love you

 

F: Yes, yes love incites me to kill. Let’s go.

F: Let’s get axes.

M: Yes, get axes.

 

F: Wait. Let’s stop at the church.

M: Tomorrow

 

F: Okay, we’ll pray to the prince of peace

M:At sundown

 

F: Yes. That’s right.

M: Don’t forget Matthew.

F: You want a threesome?

No, Matthew 7:12. The Sermon on the Mount. You know, the Golden Rule. Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.”

 

M&F: To fight, To fight.

 

M&F: Train well, and when you kill, know you’re right

M&F: To fight

 


 

(7) AMERICA (4:08)

 

America, you are born of Christ

You have a history showing

All should give an affirmation

That we were made a Christian nation

With religious bosses

And so many crosses

Others eat your losses

If this fact starts you at grieving

Pack up your bags and try leaving

 

I like to pray in America, three times a day in America

What do you say in America? “Under God,” yeah!, in America

 

Those who believe have a great edge

They stuck religion in the Pledge

And they all have an intense lust

To have a motto for God’s trust

 

I like to pray in America, What do you say in America

In school each day in America. God is the way in America.

 

Our fathers looked back at history

And do you know what they did see?

Death and destruction and much war

To prevent this is what that’s for

 

Congress put God in America. He gets the nod in America

It isn’t odd in America, Congress put God in America

 

We have the religion clauses

To counter the zealot’s causes’

Still many Christians and some Jews

Think everyone should hold their views

 

Congress put God in America. That’s some façade in America

Soon the death squad in America, Because of God in America

 

[Dance]

 

Kosovo, Iraq and Sudan

Does someone think that’s a good plan?

Well, of course, we are not the same

That we believe that is our shame

 

Olè!

 

 

 

(8) IT’S C(H)OOL (4:49)

 

“You want to learn? You learn in school.”

“I want to play!”

“You play in school”

“I want to socialize!”

“You socialize in school”

“I want to move!”

“You move in school”

 

Goys, goys, crazy goys, It’s school, goys.

Don’t get tribal over the bible

Don’t play the fool, goys

Don’t get hot, if King James is not

The version they choose

Don’t you fight to make it right

See how prayer in class makes all lose

 

Goys, goys, crazy goys. It’s school, goys.

Hate that new way, called the Douay? Well, don’t you pule, goys

Just be fair, let everyone share one rule, goys

Keep it from school, goys, from school

 

[Dance]

 

Goys, goys, crazy goys, It’s school, goys.

Phillie riots, Don’t know why its

Thought to be cool, goys

With each breath, to cause death is just bullstool goys

Keep it from school, goys, from school

 

 

 

(9) ONE GOD (4:14)

 

“With this papal bull, I take your freedom

“With this disease, I take your health

“With this weapon I take your life

“With this treaty, I take your land

“With this judicial decision, I take your constitutional rights”

 

Isn’t it odd, one God

In such esteem one God

Can watch a dream fall apart

Life slips from his hand and heart

 

Isn’t it odd, one God

Year after year one God

Makes it so clear in each breath

One God, So odd

That he leads to harm and death

 

If he gives life, one God

Why with such strife, one God

If we are his to live well

Why grief? Why pain?

Why create this earthly hell?

 

 

(10) TO FIGHT (ENSEMBLE) (3:33)

 

The WASPS are gonna treat the Papists right

Get rid of what most people say’s a blight

Their crazy superstitions we’ll bust

And as for inquisitions, we’ll do what we must

 

We won’t be pushed around by any fools

We’ll keep our bible sitting in our schools

If they don’t like our readings, too bad

Their body of Christ feedings is one stupid fad

 

To fight. We got religion to fight

And we ain’t ever thinking that we should share

We’ll do it even for spite

Because the Catholics we know ain’t got a prayer

 

They shouldn’t be here. It ain’t their country

Their hanging round is just like giving a dare ... to fight!

 

Politically I think I’m here with hawks

They’re all talking about some guy, Guy Fawkes

The WASP believes he’s rotten, had too many days

The Catholic thinks he’s hot ‘n deserving of praise

 

To fight, to fight, they used their gods to fight

Preparing for the battles each day

To fight, to fight. They used their gods to fight

Making sure others saw it their way

 

If they one day had some strange feeling

A miracle they’d call it, explaining each strange sight

They’d travel far

And place upon the landscape a scar, to fight

 

The Catholics surely know the way to fight

Just tell us when you have a day to fight

We’ve chosen all the missions to make

We had our Inquisitions, and burned at the stake

 

Don’t fight, don’t fight

Oy vey, just please, don’t fight

I tell you if I just had one wish

Don’t fight, don’t fight

Be kind and be polite

We can share blintzes and a knish

You sit, and eat with one another

You know you’re still too skinny

Just sit – I’ll make it right

They hock me a chinic

For chicken soup, gefilte fish, and latkes unite

Don’t fight.

 

The WASPS are always real cool

Let’s smite

We’re gonna get ‘em in school

That’s bright

The Papists ain’t got a chance

To fight

 

We’re really sick of these games

They all can shove their King James

We have a god so we’ll fight

 

Papists reek

Papists reek

WASPs are weak

This really should be a ball

 

The WASPs are gonna have their way

The Papists sure will earn their pay

We all are ready to fight

To fight

 

 

 

(11) THE RUMBLE (2:36)

 

Why not just be fair?

And trust in equality?

Why don’t you show everyone respect?

 

Why not just be fair?

And trust in equality?

Why don’t you show everyone respect?

 

Just try that equality

 

Why not be fair?

You just want it your way.

You just want to have it your way

You just want to have it your way.

You just want to have it your way.

 

Treat all as equal. Treat all as equal

 

So you really love your God

So you really love your God

So you really love your God (Really love my God)

Really love your God. (Really love my God)

Really. (Really). Really. (Really).

 

So try equality

 

Freedom for every conscience. Freedom as universal.

Freedom for every conscience. Freedom as universal.

Free-dom u-ni-ver-sal

 

It is wrong to be telling

And compelling

It is wrong, it is wrong – in religion.

 

Why do you repeat what has always been shown in the end to be so consistently wrong?

 

Treat all as equal.

 

 

 

(12) I FEEL CERTAIN (3:05)

 

I feel certain, oh so certain, that it’s hurtin’ how certain I feel

And so certain, that I’m working for a great ideal

 

I feel certain, oh so certain, I feel certain convertin’s all right

As long as it’s not done with some ruler’s oversight

 

Keep religion out of the government

That is just not where it should be

As the framers knew, that’s the best way to

Ensure me and you will be ever free

 

I feel certain, oh so certain, not desertin’ what certainty brings

That with equal rights liberty sings

 

Have you met the document’s father

The most brilliant man on the block

You can question him, but why bother

His thinking is solid it’s just like a rock

 

He listened to all, he was rather kind

Though physically small, he had a huge mind

He ought to, instead, be much better known

It’s too bad he’s dead, ‘cause now he can’t phone

 

Just remember him, as a genius

Are there pictures you’ve ever seen

You surely should keep one with you today

In your wallet since it is worth $5K

 

I feel certain, oh so certain,

That I’m flirtin’ with ultimate truth

And so certain, ‘cause I am a rather skillful sleuth

 

I feel certain, oh so certain,

That revertin’ to governments past

Would be curtains, and a system that would never last

 

See how I fall back on equality

It is just see easy to do

Why choose other ways

Spending endless days

When religion stays for each to pursue

 

I feel certain, oh so certain

That it’s hurtin’ when people deny

Simply being fair

Give it a try!

 

 

 

(13) BE FAIR (2:49)

 

In God some don’t trust

No, in God some don’t trust

They prefer for their faith to be

Placed instead in humanity

 

In God some don’t trust

No, in God some don’t trust

All can pray in the public square

All can pray, in fact, anywhere

But there. Be fair.

The Constitution’s dominion

Does protect every opinion. Be fair

 

In God some don’t trust

No, in God some don’t trust

If you see Him then good for you

But for others he’s just not true

Show care, Let’s share. Be fair

 

 

 

(14) GEE, JUSTICE O’CONNOR (4:25)

 

Dear kind Justice O’Conno,’ you gotta understand

That just because you wanna have God throughout the land

We have a First Amendment which does quite clearly say

In religion, no group gets its way

 

Yes Justice O’Connor, we know that you’re wise

But some don’t think that God can ever solemnize

A justice’s job is to look and to see

That there are those who disagree

 

Disagree. Disagree. Surely you can see.

That with God, some simply disagree

 

Justice O’Connor says that the only way to solemnize a public occasion is to

reference the deity. Right. Like if Abraham Lincoln had not decided at the last

minute to stick the two words, “under God,” into his famous speech, everyone

would have just been partying that day on the battlefield at Gettysburg.

 

Dear kind Justice O’Conno,’ we don’t mean to be short

But what happened to treating people equal in that Court

We have a bit of trouble deciphering your views

What’s next seating in a bunch of pews?

 

Right Justice O’Connor, at times you’re so good

At showing others deference the way that you should

We’re talking religion, with many inclined

To look at others as if blind

 

As if blind, as if blind, People are inclined

In religion to see as if blind

 

Justice O’Connor says that Atheists – at least, in American society – are

incapable of expressing confidence in the future. Obviously, that’s absurd.

But it would certainly be understandable with them residing in a nation whose

Supreme Court members are so willing to disregard their religious views.

 

Dear kind Justice O’Connor, it’s clear that one can choose

To show religious bias against Muslims or the Jews

Of course, you wouldn’t do that, because it’s not PC

But I guess with Atheists like me

 

You feel there’s no fallout. There isn’t a risk

Support for this minority has never been brisk

Perhaps that is why those great framers could see

All get to share in liberty

 

Liberty. Liberty. Yes those men could see

That it’s all who share in liberty

 

The Establishment Clause exists to protect every religious view and every

religious sect. In this day and age – with teenage pregnancy, AIDS and

overpopulation  – isn’t it time to put an end to unprotected sects?

 

Dear kind Justice O’Connor, you said that to be fair

The government should not promote what all do not share

Well, rather inconsistent, is how you sure do seem

Some deny a being that’s supreme

 

Right Justice O’Connor, we’re down on our knees

Not praying, no, just hoping you will cure the disease

Where you think the State should take your point of view

Justice O’Connor, that’s not true

 

That’s not true. That’s not true. That’s not true

No that’s just not true. It’s a thought the Framers would all rue.

 

The trouble is her bias. The trouble is she’s blind.

The trouble is she’s pious, And has stuck in her mind

That it is just a given, That there’s a deity.

Sandra, baby, some just don’t agree.

 

Yes, Justice O’Connor, c’mon get inspired

Of course it matters little now that you are retired

Still government, you recall, should never dare

Endorse a belief all don’t share!

 

 

 

(15) A PLAN LIKE THAT (5:56)

 

Justice Scalia:

 

There’s just one god, and not another

Other beliefs we’re right to smother

Those people are wrong

They surely are wrong

 

A plan like yours will cause such sorrow

Embrace that plan – forget tomorrow

Those people are wrong

They surely are wrong

 

Other beliefs don’t show love

Other beliefs have no heart

They’ll take our nation and they’ll tear it all apart

There’s no heart, Madison, there’s no heart

 

Without one god, you will see only

That humankind will all be lonely

There will be no love

They are all wrong

Just wait and see, Just wait Madison, Just wait and see

 

 

James Madison:

 

Oh, no, Scalia, no, Scalia no

It isn’t true not for us

It is a stain it’s not a plus

Just look around

History shows just what we need

To succeed, Scalia, to succeed

Is respect for each man’s intellect

You surely know that this is best, that this is best

You surely know to be free

Just have equality that’s the way

C’mon say you believe it, too

Oh, no, Scalia, no, you should know better

You read the text, or so you said

You should know better.

 

I have a plan to respect every man to believe he also has rights

 

Religion is strong

When what is right and wrong

Each does choose

 

Strife disappears when we each shed our fears of not being all in control

Of others’ beliefs, The tyrants are the thieves

We are all humankind. And everybody is equal.

And each can choose the God he will trust. Or choose none.

 

We all ought to see how with equality

We all can be free

 

 

 

(16) FINALE (2:32)

 

All can pray in the public square

All can pray, in fact, anywhere

But there. Be fair.

 

They were amazing men, who blessed us with a wondrous notion, one that they

essentially invented: that government will stay out of the religion business. During

the Constitutional Convention, Madison noted that:

 

Religion itself may become a motive to persecution & oppression.

These observations are verified by the Histories of every Country

antient & modern.

 

They gave us the blueprint to avoid that history in this country. Why would anyone

fight this?Why would people not want to see their fellow citizens treated with the

same respect they wish for themselves? Why go out of your way to see equality violated?

 

Help reinforce that which has made us so strong in terms of our religious beliefs: that we

the people of the United States shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.